Connecting With Others When Coping With Cancer Diagnosis

Connecting With Others When Coping With Cancer Diagnosis

Katherine
Author
Katherine
Author

Katherine Murphy

5 months ago at 6:13 PM

Connecting with others while coping with a cancer diagnosis can be difficult, especially when you feel alone. Here's our best advice for staying active in your community during your diagnosis!

You’ve been diagnosed with cancer - now what? Who can you turn to for help, and how do you know what advice to trust? One thing that can be very helpful is talking with people who understand what you’re going through: other cancer patients and survivors. You may feel very alone, but there are people who have stood where you do and want to make your experience a little less isolating.

But how do you find people you connect with, especially when you’re filled with anxiety? Coping with cancer is more than coping with illness, it’s also dealing with all the emotions that will come your way along with the ups and downs of treatment and beyond.

The Initial Shock of a Cancer Diagnosis

When you’re first diagnosed with cancer, you’re probably in a state of shock. Cancer isn’t something you plan for or expect to happen to you, especially if you’re young or don’t have any family history of cancer.

Coping with cancer can also be difficult because your loved ones don’t understand exactly what you’re going through as the patient. If you don’t know anyone who’s been diagnosed before, this can feel like a really lonely experience that no one in the world could understand.

It’s okay to take time to yourself to process your emotions, especially early in diagnosis. However, if you isolate yourself too much, it may be harder to talk about what you’re going through with others when you do have the opportunity.

How a Cancer Diagnosis Can Be Isolating

Coping with cancer can be especially isolating before you have a chance to talk to other survivors. This is even more true if you live far away from your close loved ones like family and friends (these days, we aren’t all lucky to have our support system living next door).

Another part of cancer being isolating is that as treatment begins, you’ll most likely feel too tired to maintain the social life you previously enjoyed. While there will be days you feel good enough to get out and about, the odds are that you’ll probably say ‘no’ to invites more often than you’ll say ‘yes’ while in active treatment.

That’s why it’s so important to find a community who understands, whether that’s in-person or online. Cancer support groups online can be very helpful, or you can ask your oncology team for advice for in-person groups.

How to Connect with Others when Coping with Cancer

It’s scary to meet new people, especially if you’re already under stress while coping with cancer. Know that cancer won’t be your entire life, although it can feel like it, and it’s important to connect with other cancer survivors that you can relate to outside of cancer.

Here’s how to connect with others when coping with cancer:

Lean Into Support

Chances are there are lots of people who want to help you. It can be hard to accept help, especially when you’re not someone who usually needs help. But during your diagnosis, you will need it, so accept the kindness when it’s offered!

You’ll notice that a lot of people want to help but don’t know how. That’s your chance to ask for what you need! If someone asks “how can I help” (even though that’s a hard question to answer) be prepared with a list of things you need so it’s easier to respond. Everyone in the situation will be better off if there is a direction to go.

Answering this question is one of the reasons OneVillage was created. Our WishList feature is designed to help you answer the question “how can I help?” Learn how to use your WishList today!

Surround Yourself with Positivity

Staying positive while coping with cancer can seem like a daunting task. What is there to stay positive about?

It may seem impossible, but looking for positive things that still exist in your life (like a hug from a loved one or a new episode of your favorite TV show) can help make your days a little easier to cope with.

Surrounding yourself with people who make your life more positive is important too. If you find yourself surrounded by negative people, it will be even more difficult to stay positive.

However, too much positivity can be harmful too! You can't be positive ALL the time, but trying your best to have at least one or two good moments a day can make all the difference.

Finding Your Community

There’s a community out there for you. If you liked running before your diagnosis, there are lots of ‘Running with Cancer’ groups that can offer you connections. Maybe you’ve always loved music - connecting with other survivors that use music to bring them joy during a diagnosis can make you feel a lot less alone. Those are just two examples!

Finding your community is another reason that OneVillage exists. Join our community groups to learn from other patients and survivors who’ve been through this too! If you have an idea for a group on OneVillage, send us an email at support@onevillage.io.

Another great place to find connections is within Facebook Groups. Whether you join groups based on your age or cancer type or interests, these online support groups really help make coping with a cancer diagnosis a little easier.

Tips for Staying Connected

Once you’ve found a group of people like you, staying connected and engaged is important for your mental health too! Whether that’s talking or posting daily or just once a week, having a community to look forward to can make treatment days a little easier.

Another great idea is to set up time on your calendar for phone calls or FaceTimes with loved ones. Scheduling this time means that when you’re feeling good, you know you won’t miss a great conversation! But, if you’re not feeling well one day, those recurring events will always pop up again in a week.

Another piece of advice is to keep a list of resources to turn to when you’re feeling overwhelmed or down. We’ve listed our favorite stories below:

5 Tips for Coping with Cancer Related PTSD
Why “Let Me Know How I Can Help” Doesn’t Help, and What You Can Do Instead
How Not to Scream at Strangers: Dealing with a Cancer Diagnosis
How Meditation Benefits Cancer Patients
Cancer Ghosting: The Traumatic Side Effect of Cancer No One Warns You About

Breast Cancer Support Groups

If you’re a breast cancer patient, there are plenty of breast cancer support groups online. Find Facebook Groups to join or use the hashtags #BCSM on Instagram or Twitter to find other people like you with a breast cancer diagnosis.

Online cancer support networks

The internet is a big place, with many, many, MANY resources! We know that spending hours searching the internet is not what you have time for, so we’ve listed our favorite online cancer support networks below:

  • The OneVillage Facebook Group: Our Facebook Group is a place for Real Talk About Cancer! There, our community has honest conversations about anything and everything related to cancer.
  • Bright Spot Network: If you're a parent or caregiver of young children who has been diagnosed with cancer, Bright Spot Network is the place for you.
  • Imerman Angels: Are you looking to connect with other patients as a mentor or a mentee? Imerman Angels offers a program of comfort and understanding for all cancer fighters, survivors, previvors and caregivers through a personalized one-on-one connection with someone who has been there.

You Are Not Alone

The most important thing to remember during this experience is that you are not alone. If you're seeking additional assistance, please reach out to our team at support@onevillage.io. Our team is here to help.

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8 comments

Last activity by Carlee Padgett

Lucy
Lucy Gidion

I've always been an introvert so reaching out to others is tough. I usually find online support groups better for me!

Ben
Ben Fischer

Helpful read, really like the tips for staying connected section.

J
Janet Cuccio

I've really struggled with isolating myself since my diagnosis, it just feels easier that way. It's so weird that I ran across this this morning, I was just thinking about how I need to be better at getting myself out there.

Alyssa
Alyssa Sutherland

I agree- I'm also working on putting myself out there more <3

Ashley
Ashley Yesayan

This is a great list of support groups, definitely worth checking out!

Katherine
Katherine Murphy

I hope this will help others, I talked to patients and survivors about their advice on coping and connecting!

Anni
Anni Xu

It's great to be reminded that communities of people are willing to help :)

C
Carlee Padgett

Online support is great because it can be easier for me to open up, especially when it comes to tough topics!

Anonymous

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