How to Support a Loved One with Late Stage Terminal Cancer

September 08, 2021
How to Support a Loved One with Late Stage Terminal Cancer

Reviewed for medical accuracy by Dr. Michael Guerrera.

There are few more difficult things to face in one’s life than accepting the approaching death of a loved one with late-stage terminal cancer. Often there has already been a long struggle for the patient and their family. Terminal cancer support is an emotionally-draining experience that has to be dealt with by people who are already emotionally drained. However, end-of-life support is also one of the most important times for a cancer patient. 

This experience will be unique for every patient and every family. However, there are a few things that everyone should keep in mind. 

Listen to Their Wants

Terminal cancer support can lead to a series of tense emotions and decisions. Many family members will naturally begin to feel over-protective, and see their role in end-of-life support as being there to make the “right” decisions. Often this can be out of a sense of denial.

What is most important about the process of terminal cancer support is making sure that the loved one in question has their wants and feelings listened to. While we may want to do what is “best”, we must always let the patient express their desires. After all, they know themselves and their needs better than anyone else. 

These kinds of honest conversations can often be difficult. If you are having trouble initially with conversations that may require brutal honesty about topics such as death, you may wish to look for terminal cancer support groups. By drawing on the experiences of others, you can better confront the hard questions, and be able to talk directly with the loved one about what they want.

Be There 

Apart from denial of the situation, another temptation will be avoidance. Death frightens us all on some level. For some, it may be painful to see a loved one in a weakened state. No matter how much we want it to be so, cancer is not going to vanish if we ignore it. 

The best thing you can do is to be available as much as possible, without exhausting yourself or your loved one. Bringing hospital care packages, arranging for other friends and family to visit, and even just writing letters or giving calls can all brighten the day of a cancer patient.

While your loved one is up for it, you may want to take the time to create a list of things to do while they are still able and lucid. This will allow both you and your loved one to build lasting memories of happy times, rather than just of hospital visits. 

Support Yourself as Well 

It is natural that most of the focus on this time will be on the patient. However, you need to take care of yourself to take care of others. If you are stressed and upset, you won’t be able to give the terminal cancer support your loved one deserves, and you may make them feel guilty on your behalf.

Don’t be afraid to ask others to help out. Sometimes you may just need a short break. By letting yourself recharge, you will be better able to sustain end-of-life support. Beyond your own group of acquaintances, there are many charities that can help with terminal cancer support. OneVillage provides the connections to information, services, and goods that all cancer patients and their end-of-life supporters need. From hospital care packages to wish lists, if you have any questions about providing for a loved one with cancer, feel free to contact us.

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